Making the Cut
I've never been one to stick to a guest list. With dinner parties in our home, we always operate under a "The More the Merrier" policy. Unfortunately, however, that policy is just not feasible for a wedding. With two very large families and a large circle of friends between the two of us, this could prove a very emotional decision for us. We're trying to stay within a tight budget, and the only way to do so is to keep the guest list reasonable.
Our target head count is 150 people. Realistically, it will probably be closer to 200. I’ve been advised to make my dream list first. This list will be comprised of everyone we want there if money and travel weren’t factors. From this list, whittle it down to one master list. I’ve been given some really great tips on how to make those oh-so-painful cuts.
Be Ruthless… Yet Gracious
1.) Strangers
A good rule of thumb to start is by eliminating people you and your fiancé don’t really know. Ideally, the wedding should not be the first time your guests meet you or your mate. My goal is to know each of my guests intimately. I would also appreciate it, if all of our guests knew us as a couple. I will keep in mind, however, that both sets of parents will be contributing to this day, and deserve to invite some guests of their own.
2.) Kids
Yes, they are adorable in their little tuxes and dresses, but children at a wedding can really cause quite the raucous. If you’re cutting kids to cut the cost, you may be unpleasantly surprised. I’ve found that a lot of caterers have a Children’s Plate that is considerably less expensive that they will serve to children under 12 yrs old. It is something that one has to inquire about, as most catering services don’t advertise this discount.
One very important piece of advice I’ve received regarding this decision is to be consistent. If it is an Adult Only Reception, absolutely no children should be included. Any exceptions to this rule could really jilt those that had to make special arrangements for their little ones.
The jury is still out on this one for us. We want to include little cousins in the roles of flower girl and ring bearer, but what to do with them at the reception? Would it be unreasonable to expect them to go home after the ceremony? And really, what would it hurt to have kids there?
3.) Co-Workers
This one is agonizingly difficult. We both work in tight knit offices with a handful of people each. This is an all or nothing decision basically. Neither of us can just pick and choose from our co-workers because we both work with in such family-style settings. If a handful from my office were invited, leaving three or four out, I would be creating a perfect storm to come home to from our honeymoon. One solution we discussed would be to just invite our bosses. Extending the invite to them can represent our companies’ places in our lives without causing too much drama back in the office.
After getting a list weeded down to the essentials, the figures should look a lot more reasonable - so I’ve been told. Also, you should count on about 10% of your confirmed guests to be No Shows.
I know this isn’t going to be easy, going through a list of my closest friends and family and making cuts. We plan on being as diplomatic and hospitable as we possibly can afford. I keep hearing something one of my bridesmaids told me of her wedding: “If you have room to include additional, go for it. But there can always be hard feelings. You can't please everyone on your wedding day, as hard as it can be.”
Lena M. Sack is a 25 year old student of life currently working her way through Massage Therapy School. By day an Executive Assistant for a magnet company, by night,
writer and artist, Lena's latest mission is planning a dream wedding with her wonderful fiancé, Michael.