What's in a Name?
A rose may be a rose by any other name, but what about a ‘Lena?’ After carrying a last name with me for twenty plus years, rich with history and traditions, how do I trade it in?
I've received a lot of teasing in regards to my uncommon last name all through high school, so one would think I'd be thrilled to part with it. The opposite is true, however. I battled my peers' mockery and held my head high during roll call, so I feel I earned the right to carry the name with pride.
In asking my friends and family their opinions, I've realized what a touchy subject the name change can really be. Staying with tradition, about 90% of American woman change their last name when marrying, and 70% of Americans believe this should be the case, according to an Indiana University survey from 1999. Whichever side of the fence you sit on, both arguments have valid concerns.
A Solid Reputation
The truth is Americans are marrying later and more frequently than ever before. This provides a chance for the men and women to grow a professional reputation before saying, “I do.” A sudden name change can not only confuse and possibly lose clients, but it could also force an Artist or successful Writer, to have to build a new reputation from scratch.
A friend of mine was faced with this scenario after her wedding. She had built a name as a designer in her surrounding areas, and now faced ruining the word-of-mouth reputation she'd worked so hard for. After much consideration, she and her husband decided to hyphenate both of their names. Symbolizing the partnership and joining of two families together, each party took the other's name. She may have to introduce herself a couple of times before people get it right, but they are both happy with the compromise.
A Loss of Identity
Some men and women choose not to change their names for more personal reasons. Holding on to a family name, especially in the case of a family of girls, may mean continuing your lineage. I know I can rely on my baby brother to uphold and carry on the family name, but some families aren't so lucky. It's a heavy burden that weighs on the bride and groom in this case, as an entire family name can rest on this decision.
It's important to explore your options and to include the family in this determination, as it affects them just as much as the Bride and Groom. Hyphenating names is the most common outcome in this situation; however the Groom can take the Bride's name, thus ensuring the family line, as well as earning the newlywed major points with his in-laws!
It's A Girl Thing 
A few of my girlfriends have argued that the changing of names is an archaic tradition - a throwback to arranged marriages and ownership. In some people's opinion, we haven't come that far in the arena of equality and the practice of giving up one's identity could support that.
After surveying my friends and family, I've found that it is still widely expected of the bride to take her husband's name; very few fail to mention it as even an option. I feel that with all of the work ladies have done to assure an equal playing field in life, it's rather easy to look at tradition spitefully. I think you see this with different ethnicities as well.
There's a thin line between tradition and ignorance. As long as the lines of communication are open and a partnership is established, being one's possession should be the last thing to worry about.
There are so many things to consider when changing your name. From getting every card, ID, and utility changed over, to the forests of paperwork the government requires before acknowledging your union; getting married is wrought with red tape. However, the opposite is no easy task just the same. Choosing to keep your maiden name can result in trouble down the line with things like travel and children.
I've given the subject a lot of thought and have expressed my thoughts to Michael. After a lot of consideration, I realize that I want so badly to be Mr. & Mrs. Michael Taylor. The thought of starting our own sect of the Taylor tribe means so much to both of us. Changing my name symbolizes how I've become such an important part of him, and he a part of myself. Now I just have to re-learn my signature!
Lena M. Sack is a 25 year old student of life currently working her way through Massage Therapy School. By day an Executive Assistant for a magnet company, by night,
writer and artist, Lena's latest mission is planning a dream wedding with her wonderful fiancé, Michael.
