Budget Blues
These days more and more couples are financing their weddings on their own without significant contributions from family members. However, the big steps in life can sometimes be a strain on one's resources, especially for younger professionals. When a couple begins to plan a wedding both time and money can suddenly seem to be in short supply.
When one or both parties decide to take on extra hours or a second job to help subsidize wedding expenses, quality time together can begin to seem like a thing of the past. 
Soon-to-be bride Lena and I have been commiserating about this very phenomenon as she and her fiancé, Mike, plan their wedding. Suddenly I can relate as my hunny and I begin to save up to buy our first house!
When you feel as though you are running a race against time to save enough money for your big day, but missing out on time with the very person that you long to be with, it can begin to put a strain on a relationship. The longer this situation lasts unchecked, the more likely one or both parties are to get cold feet as suddenly something else has taken precedence over the relationship itself.
So what's a gal (or guy) to do?
As Lena and I have both faced this phenomenon square in the face, here are our best tips for focusing on what matters when planning a wedding (or any other life changing event for that matter):
- Make Time - Not enough time in the day? You need to make it. It may seem like a contradiction, but no matter how jam-packed your day may now seem juggling wedding planning, your jobs and the general up's and down's of life, time together is important! Try to squeeze in at least 20 minutes to an hour a day together. Enjoying a cup of coffee in the morning together before running out the door or a glass of wine on the couch after work can make all the difference. Talk about your day; share your high points and low points. Connecting like this on a daily basis will help ensure an undercurrent of strength together as you continue to navigate the planning process.
- Plan a date night - Before we decided to buy a house together, my hunny and I used to eat out several times a week. We would hit the town without a second thought of how much money we were spending. After all, we were young and "in love"! Then one day we grew up and began planning a future together. Once we agreed on the future together, it seemed like we had less together. Unwilling to let that go unchecked, we agreed on a date night. We'd happened upon a restaurant with a fun vibe that also offered a Tuesday night special. Now we try to make it a habit to hit the town together - on a budget. We both look forward to this time together to unwind and enjoy a special treat!
- Make ordinary occasions special - These days I love doing laundry. Does that sound silly? In my current house, the hook-up to the washer and drier are upstairs. And that is a very narrow and twisty set of stairs! In order to get the units up there, we would have had to hoist them up over the roof. Not happening! So we opted to go to the local laundromat. They have video games and a pizza parlor next door. We get to eat junk food and play Pac-Man together. Life is good! Then we bring our laundry home, pop in a movie and have a folding party. Think about ways you can inject a little life into your normal routine so that it becomes something that you and your fiance look forward to!
- Look for ways to cut back - You've already made a lot of changes in your personal life in order to save up for that big wedding. But ask yourself if there are ways that you can downsize areas of your wedding in order to maximize time with your loved ones before the big day. DIY weddings are big right now, and by opting to create your own invitations or favors you might save yourself a big chunk of money. Looking out for up and coming florists, bakers, designers may also be a great way to save money while giving a fledgling career a boost!
Overall, when you begin to feel stressed out about planning and saving for your wedding, remember that this is a day about you and the person you love. Sacrificing time with them in order to celebrate an expensive day with them may turn out to be counter-productive.
If you ultimately decide that you want that dream wedding, then make sure to plan some together time in there as well!
Jen Kiaba is a freelance photographer and designer who specializes in Portraits - with a Hint of Vintage Romance. She lives in Rhinebeck, NY with her superhero boyfriend, two crazy cats and an adorable (albeit very lazy) basset hound! She can also frequently be found on Facebook and Twitter!