It’s that time of night again - the moment the best man and maid of honor has worried about all day long: time to toast the newlyweds. Those in that honorable position of making the speech have reason to fear – the toasts are long considered the highpoint of the reception. Talk about a little pressure!
After witnessing these speeches almost every weekend, I can offer some ideas that have gone over big in the past. (For a full run-down of wedding toast etiquette, check this out.)
Don’t forget the drink!
How many times has a nervous bridal party member grabbed the mic, only to find halfway through the speech that they forgot to grab a glass of something with which to make the toast? It’s a totally adorable moment as someone scrambles to hand them a drink. However, if you want to err on the side of caution, look for your champagne glass and then for the mic!
Some of the nicest speeches open with a thank-you to the guests for traveling from far away.
The Hudson Valley is a destination wedding hotspot in and of itself, and one Best Man illustrated this by naming all the hometowns in the room. It was really impressive to hear how international the wedding guests were!
It’s always thoughtful, too, to thank the parents for hosting the day and the rehearsal party the night before. And to mention how pretty the bride and ladies in the bridal party look.
Usually, the next thing is to illustrate the history of your relationship with the couple, and maybe to tell the story of how the couple met and how they changed for the better in the course of their dating. This is usually the time everyone’s been waiting for: to hear the cute and funny tidbits about the couple that really personalize the day.
The most successfully done speeches tease just enough to illustrate how great the couple is together. A story about one or the other might make everyone laugh, but you don’t want the speech to suddenly turn awkward and embarrassing for anyone. Remember, everyone is there because they love the couple and want them to succeed and be happy. So a momentary roast usually goes over best when followed up by a heartfelt display of true affection.
Make them laugh, then make them cry!
Words of Wisdom
When Jeremy’s stepmother began her story, there were cringes about where this potentially unsettling remembrance might lead. Jeremy said, “I don’t remember this,” a couple of times, looking puzzled. When Jeremy’s “ah-ha” moment finally came, it was clear that his stepmother was illustrating not only a beloved quality in her stepson (one that made him ever more attractive to his new wife, Lissette) but also those quirky qualities that made him all the better with Lissette’s partnership. By the end of the speech, everyone had had a big, honest belly laugh as well as a wonderful feeling for the two newlyweds and their future together.
Alex made everyone chuckle when he described Ian’s and Kathleya’s first (non) date as potentially worrisome due to the fact that they lived in the same building. He made everyone smile when he mentioned how much Ian talked about this new neighbor.
Then he depicted an evening of everyone hanging out together where Alex was in another room, but could overhear Ian and Kathleya’s conversation in the kitchen.
They were discussing Star Wars characters and Alex said their conversation reminded him of something – “it sounded like best friends.”
The feeling was mutual because when Kathleya made her speech, she thanked Ian’s family for making her feel so welcomed into the family.
Heather and Greg’s best man introduced himself as Greg’s best friend, saying that he loved him like a brother. Then he said, “And since Heather is my step-sister, it’s like my brother and sister got married today!”
One maid of honor called the bride her “sister from another mother.”
After Carla’s sister and Elias’ brother returned the mic, Carla’s nephew asked for it. His impromptu speech talked briefly about how much he adored his lovely aunt and how happy he was for her because Elias was “totally awesome.” A best man in the making!
Mary’s younger sister and maid of honor took the mic and promptly began to cry. Their father rushed to her side and everyone in the room clapped and encouraged her to continue her speech.
She talked about her loving and close relationship with Mary and what a role model her big sister was. Then she said how happy she was that Mary had found Nick, who was just as good and loving to Mary.
And there was not a dry eye in the room when she was done.
Remember to keep the speech focused on the day. Less successful speeches focus too much on the speaker or on only one person in the couple. Also, while everyone knows a speech that is too long can be boring, a speech that is too short can be disappointing. Lots of people add in quotes or readings to help out if they don’t have the gift of the gab.
But no matter what, when in doubt, just speak from the heart. It will never let you down.
Here’s to all of you!
Hillary Harvey is a freelance photographer specializing in wedding photojournalism. Though born in Brooklyn to a long line of Brooklynites, she is a tried-and-true valley girl, having lived most of her life in the Hudson Valley. She also lives online, so catch up with her there!
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|12.182.82.xxx |2010-09-09 10:37:20 Carla Garbie-Garcia - Carla & Elias Wedding
Hillary,
We love the article and thank you for including us!! My nephew is so special to me and I will never forget his beautiful speech. I can't wait for him to see what you wrote about him. This picture really says it all!!
You really captured so many amazing moments. We will have them forever and thank you so much!!
Carla
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|74.32.21.xxx |2010-09-09 10:52:04 Nick Herron - Thinking about Liz's speech still gets me.
Hillary, you're so right. All of these tips are the truth. My Best Man Jon is the quiet type, but he still managed to pull it together; mainly by speaking from the heart.
Liz for sure had the room in tears during her speech, and she had the hardest time getting through it. Mary and I were a mess, which really put the challenge on you to get some endearing shots, even after the "water works".
A word to the wise: Weddings are days revolving around love, speak from the heart! (just like Hillary said!
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|Editor |2010-09-17 20:25:57 hhp - Great Moments!
Thanks for your comments!
Carla, your nephew was totally precious and such a great sport throughout your entire day. You'd think he was a professional ring-bearer!
And Nick, I would never have known Jon was a quiet type. He looked so great with that mic in his hand! And your reactions made Liz's speech even better!
Great days!
