If you recall last week's Shoesday post, I was a tad bit obsessed with the color pink. That’s probably putting it mildly, actually. I’ve been searching high and low for more pink shoes since we spoke last, and discovered a new color to obsess over: taupe, neutral, nude... whatever you call it, it’s fabulous.

I know that neutral may seem boring after last week’s series of shocking pinks, but trust me, neutral tones can do wonders for your legs.

How to wear neutral

So I already mentioned that neutral tones can really amp up your legs, and I’m not kidding. If you want to have legs that appear to go on for miles, put on a neutral shoe, a little bit of sunless tanner (not in that order, please), and you’re going to look wonderful. Neutral shoes make your legs look longer because they don’t break up the eyeline.

I know it’s weird to think about someone looking at your legs, but if you’re wearing a short wedding dress, changing into a short dress, or even doing a garter toss, they’re going to see the light of day, which means that SOMEONE is going to be looking.

And let’s not forget the pictures! You want your legs to look their best for the most important pictures of their lives!! A little inspiration for you....

From top left: Fergie Delighted Pump, Badgley Mischka Elia Pump,
BCBGirls Estrella Pump, Isaac Mizrahi 620 d’Orsay Pump

The benefits of wearing a neutral shoe

As if the fact that you could appear to have legs that go on for days weren’t enough, neutral shoes really let the rest of your outfit shine.

It’s your WEDDING. While I’m all about shoes, you don’t want everyone to be so distracted by them that they forget to look at your dress! You’ve put so much time into planning and executing your gorgeous day, you want to accentuate it and that is exactly what neutral tones are best at.

From top left: daniblack Jacky Pump, Jean-Michel Cazabat Oba Pump,
Butter Spooky Pump, Badgley Mischka Banner Pump

No one does neutrals quite like one of my favorites, Badgley Mischka. This last batch of shoes was saved for well, last because they’re absolutely stunning. Just the right amount of understated and over-the-top.

I love the mix of fabrics, style... I’m just in love with these shoes. If I were Carrie Bradshaw, I’d wear a pair of these to my wedding (Alright, alright. I'll admit it: I’d actually wear all four, changing throughout the night).

From top left: Badgley Mischka Desire Bootie, Badgley Mischka Randee Sandal,
Badgley Mischka Bryant Pump, Badgley Mischka Olaf Bootie

So, are you inspired yet? Neutral does NOT mean boring anymore!

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Brea Gunn is a blogger and writer living in Houston, TX with her husband and son. When she's not hyperventilating as a result of chasing her son, Smalls, you will find her immersed in any one of her writing projects. Her current obsessions include shoes of any kind, healthy eating, fashion, and sewing. According to her husband, she is very opinionated. Brea doesn't always agree with him.

When my husband and I went out to celebrate our 11th anniversary in early June, it suddenly struck me how quickly time had gone– just like those moments when I have to squint at our 8-year-old to see her without those adorably chubby baby cheeks she used to have, which still appear to me when she’s talking.

When you’re pregnant, just like when you’re engaged, there are a lot of tips out there on the preparation end of things. And I remember when I brought my helpless little baby home from the hospital (now, the big 8-year-old), just as when I started the daily routine of being a newlywed, I was surprised at how the advice seemed to dry up. Suddenly, I was left with this new life, trying to keep it alive, and not really knowing how.

So I did an informal poll of my friends and family to try to uncover what the secrets are to a marriage. What makes it work and what are good things to focus on in order to help it thrive? Here are their secrets for a healthy marriage:

Marry your best friend

“For a marriage to truly succeed and be satisfying, your partner should be best-friend material; someone you can talk to endlessly, someone who brings out the best in you.” Wendy, married 11 years to her best friend, Michael

“You are going to fall out of the ‘in love’ phase– it’s inevitable. So be certain that your partner is a person who (without the fireworks going off) can hold your interest and affection for a lifetime.” Monique, married 10 years to Walt

“Opposites attract, but it gets old. [One of the biggest challenges to being married was] growing apart over the years.” Judith, divorced

Make time for the marriage

“Making the marriage a priority after having children, with both of us working full time, was the biggest challenge to being married. We didn’t make time for our marriage. [One thing I would have done differently is] weekly date nights! EVERY week, no exceptions. It is a ton of work to keep your love for each other alive.” Jessica, separated

“We often share time together over our morning coffee, we always eat dinner together, and we take an hour to walk our dogs every day, which gives us time to talk. In unexpected and spontaneous ways, I think it’s important to express to your spouse how you love them or are thinking of them. I don’t mean only on the big days– birthdays and anniversaries– but the average days when a simple note tucked in a lunch bag or a text message in the middle of the afternoon serve to remind your spouse you love them.” Krishna, married 8 years to Magi

“You need a desire to be in the marriage and make it work. Everyone tells you making [a] marriage is hard work, and they’re not lying!” Monique

Make time for yourself

“Being able to be alone and find happiness within yourself, I think, can really help make you a better part of a couple.” Joanne, married 8 years to Brad

“The biggest challenge [to being married] is creating mutual freedom and independence.” Harlan, divorced

“Support one another’s interests.” Krishna

Communicate

“Women are expected to be one way, men another, but then they’re expected to coexist as an intimate unit for years and years together.” Joanne

“[In the recipe for marriage, the most important ingredient is] caring enough about each other to want to see things from your partner’s point of view. [Don’t go] to sleep with unresolved issues between each other.” Leslie and Henry, married 30 years

“The things you sit on [and don't say] are like weeds; you can pull them out easily at the beginning when they’re small, but if you ignore them, they can take over the garden.” Judith

“Recognize when your partner is stressed and cut their behavior some slack. Also when you are stressed, communicate that to your partner so they don’t take your behavior personally. We’ve both worked hard at listening to what the other person is really saying and not being overly sensitive to criticism.” Monique

Let go of being right

“Can you let go of the need to be right all the time? I once knew a couple’s therapist who would say, ‘Do you want to be right, or do you want to be in a relationship?’” Wendy

“If you expect your spouse to be perfect, then you must be perfect for them, too!” Joanne

Bring a sense of humor

“Keep a sense of humor about absolutely everything! And keep the television out of the bedroom!” Krishna

“[The most important attribute a person can bring to a marriage is] a sense of humor. And be sure one of you isn’t afraid to kill bugs!” Leslie and Henry

Remember that marriage is amazing

“The biggest surprise to me is that after 10 years, it’s still amazing. In fact, it just gets better and richer as we grow older together and share the wild ride of our lives.” Wendy

“[The biggest surprise to me about marriage is] how easy it is, if you shut out the chatter and conventions from the outside world.” Joanne

“Knowing that people and relationships evolve takes the pressure off of thinking about our relationship in terms of ‘forever’ or ‘soul mates’, and I remember that this thinking helped to quell any wedding day jitters I may have felt. Though I fully expect we’ll be together for a long, long time, I do recognize that all people and all relationships are in a state of flux and I am happy to live in the present, enjoying our relationship for the wonderful thing it is today.” Krishna

 

Hillary Harvey is a freelance photographer who specializes in wedding photojournalism because she really, truly values marriage, even beyond the awesome parties. She is especially grateful for the lovely people in her life who shared their thoughts and secrets with her for this piece (and all the many times they do). She lives online, so catch up with her there!

OK, let’s talk wedding rings. Usually, it’s a pretty cut and dry issue. Couples know what a wedding ring is “supposed” to look like and they go out and get something that fits that mold (like this lovely traditional ring with an etched twist by Hayden Croft).

But think about it.

Your wedding ring is an accessory that you’re going to wear for the rest of your life. The one that you choose should fit your personal style, not some preconceived notion of what a wedding band should be.

There are plenty of awesome options out there if you look off the beaten path…

Eco-friendly

There’s a whole little treasure trove of jewelry out there that was created by people who are super conscious about the environment. These artisans create their pieces in the most eco-friendly way possible, making them the perfect choice for anyone who’s passionate about the environment.

This pretty little ring from Peaces of Indigo was handcrafted using recycled fine silver. The artist hand formed the band, etched the flowers and vines around the outside and handwrote the “secret” happily ever after message inside.

Aside from being a great eco-friendly find, isn’t it romantic to have a one-of-a-kind ring that someone put their heart and soul into making? It just seems to start off your marriage right, with a token that’s imbued with so much love!

Vintage

Another great idea that also happens to be kind to the environment and super romantic is choosing a vintage wedding band. Just as with wearing a wedding ring that’s crafted with love, wearing a ring that was worn happily for dozens of years also seems to carry a positive vibe.

This sparkling vintage set via Ageless Heirlooms is from 1951. If you’re into vintage pieces and love the idea of all of the history behind them, this is the absolutely perfect way to seal your commitment. Talk about eternal love!

Bling

Some people don’t like the idea of using someone else’s wedding band. Whether it be superstition or the desire for something new, a vintage ring is not for everyone. But if you’re loving the sparkle of the ring above, you might be interested in a diamond wedding band.

Great for the glam bride, a dazzling diamond band guarantees that your ring will catch the eye of anyone walking by. This particular ring from My Jewelry Box is big and bold but still classic. If you think anything is better with a little sparkle, a diamond band is definitely the right route for you!

Ornate

Some girls aren’t into too much sparkle but still want something decorative. In that case, a band with some kind of texture, whether it be scrolled (like the Hayden Croft ring shown here), braided, or hammered would be a great choice.

There are an endless amount of options in this category, making it really easy to choose something that has significance to you as a couple. Are you Irish? A Celtic knot wedding band might be just what you’re looking for. Or maybe you’re Jewish and you’d like a ring with a message in Hebrew cut through your ring. Those are out there too. There are so many possibilities!

Alternative

While we’re talking about all of the different options that are available, I have to touch on the fact that there are no rules when it comes to your wedding. I can’t stress how important this is! It’s your day and your life.

What if you’re drawn to a ring that looks absolutely nothing like a “wedding band?” I say go for it!

green amethyst :: pearl

If there’s a cocktail ring that’s calling your name or you're drawn to pearls because they’re a symbol of purity (or just because you think they’re pretty), go for it! It’s a ring that you’re always going to wear. You should like it!

Just remember to think classic (it does need staying power, afterall) and make sure that if you choose a colored stone, it will work easily with the colors you normally wear. You don't want to have to worry about your wedding ring clashing with your favorite shirt!

Fake

Last but not least, don’t count out the fakes! There are beautiful, high quality cubic zirconia rings out there that look pretty real to the average person. If you’re the type of girl who uses her hands a lot or is prone to losing things, you might want to consider a less expensive ring.

The beauty shown here from My Jewelry Box is made from sterling silver and cubic zirconia, making it way less expensive than gold and diamond versions of the same style. If your budget is tight or you fear losing a stone, a “fake” version might take a weight off your shoulders—and I won’t tell if you don’t!

As you can see, there are plenty of wedding ring options out there. You're not tied to anything from the start. Just choose something that you're sure to love for decades to come!

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Jennifer Garry is a writer (with a sparkly new blog!) who lives in Westchester, NY with her husband and two daughters. When she's not up to her ears in kiddie crafts and spit up, she's plotting her next move (children's book? event planning? jewelry empire?). Her obsessions include tea, chocolate, sarcasm and her daughter's giggle—any of which can be used to coax her from whatever project she's currently engrossed in.

• Research photographers and find someone that makes you feel comfortable. Be sure to check references.

• Find a location that's meaningful to you and your significant other, for example a hotel that you've stayed at together, a beach you go to (swimwear!) or even your own bedroom.

• If you're doing this before your wedding, or after (like I did), give yourself a window so that if you're looking to get back into shape, or lose a few pounds, you have a secret goal to achieve!

• Shop in advance for a few new lingerie pieces. Places like Marshall's, TJ Maxx, Daffy's are great for one-off pieces that aren't going to break the bank in the event you never wear them again.

• Definitely bring something that your significant other loves to see you in (it can even be his football jersey or and old t-shirt). Almost anything can be made sexy!

• Bring music that makes you move; for me it was The Black Keys... as soon as they started playing on my iPod I loosened up!

• I was particularly nervous, so I had a single glass of wine while I was talking with the photographer. It put me in the mood to be sexy!

• Have an "inspiration" reel, be it getting to see the hard work you've done at the gym in pictures, or the look on your partner's face when they see your sexy pictures. These were both points of inspiration for me!

• Don't go overboard with hair and makeup; if these are a present for someone who fell in love with you, remember they fell in love with YOU!

Side Note:

It has been 4 years since I married my husband and though this budoir shoot started as an anniversary present for my husband, I'm now looking into fitness modeling!

I never want to look back and see that I let myself "go" or become out of shape or not care about my appearance. It's important as women to take care of our health and appearance, to feel good and be strong.

My husband and I didn't become "one" as many people say about marriage, we became a killer team. As teammates we strive to do and be our best! Maintaining our individualism, spirit and continuing to set personal goals is as vital to our succesful marriage as it is to life in general.

Photos courtesy of Photo by Basia via Two Bright Lights