Should you have children at your wedding?
There is no easy answer to this one. It really depends on you. Are you super close with your nieces and nephews? Does your family party together with the kids on a regular basis? If so, it might be hard to imagine NOT having them as a part of your wedding.
Let's explore some of the pros and cons to keeping the kiddies.
Cons
- Kids are kids. They can be delightful, but then can also be disruptive and noisy, especially during those "quiet moments" in the church.
- The parents of those children will spend the entire night chasing them around, wiping snotty noses and swatting bottoms instead of enjoying themselves.
- You're likely spending $40-200 per plate to feed your guests. The extra expense to feed children who are going to throw most of it on the floor can make you want to scream.
Pros
- Parents will easily be able to attend because they won't have to make special arrangements.
- If you have a close family, having the kids there everyone who is special to you and makes them a part of your memories.
- Kids have lots of energy and energy is FUN. They'll be the first ones on the dance floor and will give the ladies an excuse to get up with them.
- They're just so darn cute! Especially in those mini-tuxedos and flower girl dresses.
Speaking from my own experiences at hundreds of weddings in the Hudson Valley, I love having kids there. They bring a smile to grown up faces and provide built in entertainment tearing around the dance floor. There's nothing quite so adorable as a toddler bouncing up and down to the Black Eyed Peas, surrounded by a circle of adoring wedding guests.
Of course, it's not always that cute. At one Hudson Valley wedding location (which shall remain nameless) Jeff and I encountered a hoard of ten year old hooligans who swiped booze from the bar, poked at our DJ equipment and ran rampant without adult supervision all night long.
But this horrific scenario is rare. The picture below illustrates a more typical scenario. Here's Jeff performing acoustic guitar for a wedding cocktail hour at Christo's in Poughkeepsie, NY...with a gaggle of kids dancing and doing "airplane wings" around him.
Photo by Lori O'Toole
Solving the Kiddie Dilemma
Choose what's right for you. If you can't imagine your day without the kids, invite them. If the thought of screaming babies gives you wedding nightmares, make your reception "Adults Only." And don't let your family and friends pressure you.
Make one general rule and stick with it. If you decide not to have kids, don't allow any. This makes it easier to explain. "I'm sorry, we just don't have enough space/budget/patience for kids at the wedding." When you start making exceptions, things can get ugly.
Do yourself and your guests a favor and HIRE BABYSITTERS. Pay someone to watch and play with the children. This way their parents will actually be able to relax and enjoy themselves, and the kids can still be a part of the day.
Give the kids a diversion. Provide a kiddie craft table with coloring books and crayons at the very least. A gift bag stocked with toys can keep them occupied.
Or if you have a lot of children and you want to keep them REALLY happy and totally out of your hair...rent the Amazing Fun Bus for your wedding. It's got pinball, Wii, carnival games and more. They'll love it! Of course, you'll probably have trouble keeping the groomsmen away, too.
What's your take on children at weddings? Leave a comment and share your experience.