You've just gotten engaged. Chock full of emotions and bubbling with ideas, many soon-to-be-weds wonder: who does what for a wedding?
Bride and Groom
Consider that the time of year you choose will have an effect on all aspects of your wedding. If you want to go on a ski trip honeymoon, don’t get married in August and if you want to spend your honeymoon on the beach in Atlantic City, January is not the best choice for your wedding.
You need to have a frank discussion about your wedding budget. Will one or both sets of parents be willing and able to help with the wedding costs? Can you afford to have your wedding and/or reception at your city’s best hotel? Or will you have to set your sights on something a little less glamorous?
Decide where the ceremony will be held. It can be anywhere from a house of worship to a justice of the peace’s office or a Vegas wedding chapel. As soon as possible after you become engaged, meet with the officiant and set the date and time. Ask about the type of music allowed (church/synagogue) during the ceremony.
Encourage both families to put together tentative guest lists. Coordinate your theme and colors for bridesmaid dresses, flowers, invitations and pictures. Now is also the time to shop for your rings.
If your ceremony official allows it, this is the time to write your vows.
Choose your best man, maid of honor, groomsmen (ushers), bridesmaids, flower girl and ring bearer.
Bridal Party
The best man oversees the ushers on the big day, attends the rehearsal dinner, pays for his own tux rental, helps the groom on the big day, holds the bride’s ring until the ceremony and coordinates the return of the rented tuxedos.
The maid of honor helps coordinate the bride’s schedule, traditionally hosts a shower, helps the bride dress and coordinates fittings for the bridesmaids.
The best man and maid of honor are generally the official witnesses of the wedding and are asked to sign the marriage license after the ceremony.
The bridesmaids help with the shower, usually buy their own dresses, commit to the rehearsal and show up on time on the big day. Sometimes the bridesmaids and ushers are asked to be in the receiving line.
Following most weddings, the guests head to the reception location while the wedding party and the parents take pictures of the newlyweds, close family and members of the wedding party.
Parents
In the past, the bride’s parents were expected to foot the bill for the wedding. Nowadays, both sets of parents and the couple all contribute to the cost of the wedding and reception when possible. Many couples choose to forego a huge reception so that they can have a more luxurious honeymoon.
Remember, none of these "rules" are set in stone! Different situations require different participants to step up to bat.
Photo sources: engagement ring, Rose Robinson; getting ready, Ashley Studios
This article was written by Elaine Smith for Irish Gifts and claddagh rings.