To the best of my knowledge, I am a good and caring friend that places other's feelings before my own.
This is a trait that I've worked very hard at cultivating in myself, so it was quite the disappointment to find out that I've been acting in the opposite manner as of late.
Amidst two jobs, a wedding, a blog, and a very sweet fiancé, friends outside of the wedding plans have unfortunately gone neglected. I finally forced myself to carve out some time to grab dinner with my long lost friend, Amanda, and was confronted with the truth. My sweet friend gave me a good talking to regarding my inability to ask for help when I could really use it.
I have been reluctant to turn to any of my girlfriends that weren't asked to be in the wedding only because I thought it may be rude. Very much to the contrary, as Amanda seemed more than eager to help out in any way. I think her offer was mostly out of hopes of regaining the close bond we once had that I've unintentionally distanced myself from.
The most eye-opening part about it was during my drive home, when I ran through a whole list of friends I haven't kept in touch with very well since the engagement. At this rate, I won't have any friends left to attend as guests!
So is it ok to ask lady friends to help with the wedding if they weren't asked to be a bridesmaid? I asked around and came up with this: it depends.
It all depends on the activity you ask them to help you out with. Obviously you don't want to ask a friend to tag along to something as dry as picking out the font for your invitations. Your friend will never forgive you for such a dull outing. There are more exciting errands that girlfriends would be happy to accompany a bride on.
Tastings
Two girls, a plate full of delectable treats and glasses of wine-- what better way to bond with a gal pal while making strides in wedding plans? Take turns exploring each sample, describing flavors and textures to determine if wedding guests would enjoy the selection.
It's important that I have someone at my tasting to remind me that my guests may not all feel the same as I do about smoked salmon and asparagus tarts. Another palate to bounce flavors off of is always helpful!
Photo Op
Most of my girlfriends are like me in that they cannot resist a good photo opportunity. Bringing a friend along while scoping out places to do pictures can be a really fun way to keep friends feeling involved.
Bring along a camera to take pictures of the proposed spots. You'll not only have a great way to recall your favorite places to shoot, but you'll have a collection of photos documenting a great day out with good friend.
Decorations
Whether they be the "do-it-yourself" variety or store bought, decorations for the reception can really make the affair come together. This is a perfect opportunity to get a group of friends involved.
From designing decorations to creating them, there's a lot of work to be done. Good thing I've got a lot of friends that I'm sure will just be happy I've finally gotten them in the game!
I've been told over and over again that emotions run high when it comes to a wedding. I've heard of instances where best friends part ways over a dress color, and of family members refusing to come because of the couple's decision to disallow children.
With all of these warnings, it's no wonder I've been overly cautious when inviting friends besides my bridesmaids to help. A very important lesson I've learned, however, is that with all of those warnings I never took who my friends are into account.
I am lucky to be surrounded by friends that are more understanding and compassionate than I sometimes give them credit for. The only offensive action I've taken is by not asking them to assist at all, which is something I'll be remedying A.S.A.P!
Lena M. Sack is a 26 year old student of life currently working her way through Massage Therapy School. By day an Executive Assistant for a magnet company, by night, writer and artist, Lena's latest mission is planning a dream wedding with her wonderful fiancé, Michael.
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it is definitely a good idea to have your friends participate on your wedding planning. you can ask suggestions and ideas from them of the other things that might help improve the style of your wedding. Congratulations on your wedding Lena.
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|24.193.228.xxx |2010-12-12 23:31:55 eve - how about no bridesmaids
I'm not sure why the idea of not having any bridesmaids does not get tossed around more. Why not just include siblings and enjoy spending time with friends. (i'm pretty sure most friends don't need another dress, that they will never ever wear again, hanging in their closest.)
Maybe I am stepping outside of the box a little too much but I think planning a wedding should be joyous and fun and not an energy and time suck. I think that you can incorporate your friends and family into planning by asking them to do discrete jobs. How about assigning one to help pick out a guest book? Or asking several to come over to your place and make the guest bags with you? I'm sure each friend has a talent or skill that can be helpful in a myriad of ways.
I wish you much happiness in beginning your life with your life partner.