Dealing with Disappointment
Bridezilla, as defined by an online dictionary, is a bride-to-be who focuses so much on the event that she becomes difficult and obnoxious.
I found out how easily one can be afflicted with this dreaded side effect of wedding planning this past weekend. After receiving the extremely disappointing news that we will not be able to afford The Ryan Montbleau Band (RMB) for our reception, I was bit by the Bridezilla bug. At first I had this queasy feeling of disappointment. I've handled a couple of mild disappointments thus far, without problem; this one, however, was a much harder pill to swallow.
"Disappointments happen in life. It's just a matter of learning to deal and redirect things."~ Lin Applegarth
I nagged my loving fiancé to death about the problem, as if he had any power over the situation. I focused on this so much, that for almost a week, it's all I could think about. I let days go by, getting nothing done, but dwelling on what wasn't going right. In the mean time, I could have been calling and interviewing DJ's, getting advice from friends and family, or even making the soundtrack for the evening myself.
It's important to recognize rude behavior before it becomes a pattern throughout the planning process. The last thing I want are my girls conspiring about how awful I am to work with. The first lesson I've learned is: ADMIT IT. Admit when you are being a complete brat, acknowledge it, and move on. Your loved ones will most likely excuse the less- than-graceful attitude, as long as it doesn't continue.
It's important to understand that most women go through a bout of "Bridezilla behavior". It's more important, however, to learn how to curb such a demeanor.
"Anytime you suffer a setback or disappointment, put your head down and plow ahead." ~ Les Brown
I admit that I've been a little naïve regarding the cost of such a talent. The past three years of our lives has been comprised of road trips to see this wonderful band. Through the music, and with Mike holding me tightly, we fell more and more in love. I had clung to the optimism that it was only appropriate to have them play the reception and that by some sort of divinity, it would all work out. Considering that their fee is almost double our budget, we're looking into other options.
It took some talking to get me off the edge of this one, but my bridesmaids and fiancé were able to put things back into perspective for me.
I know that I won't be able to get every detail for my dream wedding to come to fruition. By focusing on all of the things that are going right--the man of my dreams and a group of friends and family making this all possible--I am able to let go of disappointments, big or small.
Lena M. Sack is a 25 year old student of life currently working her way through Massage Therapy School. By day an Executive Assistant for a magnet company, by night,
writer and artist, Lena's latest mission is planning a dream wedding with her wonderful fiancé, Michael.