With a little more than a year to go, my best friend Lena is planning a wedding with the man of her dreams. She's in the early in the stages of planning: she has the dress but is still working out the details of her bridal party, venue, etc. We live five hours away from each other; I live in Rhinebeck and she lives in Rochester.So when she asked me to be her Maid of Honor, I was thrilled, but a little nervous. I had just finished doing my MoH duties for another childhood friend who lives down in Maryland (also a five hour drive!) and it had been a rough few months and a lot of expensive treks. In fact, I am convinced that planning a wedding will test the strength of your friendships; it's a make or break kind of environment.
Let's just say that things had happened in preparation for the last wedding that had cooled my friendship with the bride. Another good friend of hers and I had spent many nights before and after the wedding crying in our tequila and watching terrible chick flicks (Hillary Duff, anyone?).
I learned a lot being a MoH last year, and I hope that I can share what I learned to make the process of planning your wedding a little easier. Ultimately I want your wedding to be a joyful occasion for you, AND your nearest and dearest!
So right now Lena and I are taking the planning slowly. I'm acting as her sounding board and her research fellow. With Skype and Video messaging we are stashing away some extra dollars that would have been used in trekking out to see each other.
You know how they say that "Communication is Key?" Well they aren't lying! During my last gig as a MoH, the bride and I played phone tag on and off for months, until I got a very unkind email from the groom stating he felt that I wasn't doing my duties. I cried, and then I bought a ticket down to Maryland.
But I could have saved myself $100+ in train fare had the bride and I established a more regular pattern of communicating. It doesn't always have to be face-time. Email, texting, even Facebook work great. You as the bride need to feel like you are being supported, but it's unlikely that your bridal party will be mind readers. Letting them know ahead of time what it is your are looking for and what your expectations are is paramount! You will be much happier and more relaxed during and after the planning!
So right now Lena and I are in the midst of looking at bridesmaids dresses. We're hoping to avoid the trap of the $300 dress that the bridal party will never wear again (we all have at least one of those right?!). Her aunts have also volunteered to make the dresses. We've exchanged several ideas back and forth and I will be sharing those with you next week!
Curious to know a bit more about how to establish good communication with your bridal party? Check out this great article: The Bride's Guide to Bridesmaids!
Jen Kiaba is a photographer and burgeoning crafter who lives in Rhinebeck, NY with her lovely boyfriend, two crazy cats and an adorable basset hound. When her hands aren't covered in tacky glue, she specializes in taking romantic portraits of happy couples in the Hudson Valley!