So you're engaged, you've sent out the announcement, and suddenly you're left with the prospect of figuring out the wedding date!
For some couples it's a cinch-- perhaps you've discussed this for a long time in your relationship before making the big step.
For others, there are a lot of different considerations to take into account.
This past year I photographed a wedding for a couple who had their hearts set on a certain venue. Unfortunately, the venue wasn't available for the set of dates that they had picked out ahead of time. Instead, the manager offered them the very next weekend available and the couple booked without hesitation.
It was only on their drive home that they realized they had just put a deposit down on a venue for September 11th.
While the wedding ended up being a very lovely occasion, the fact is that the bride and groom will now have that date inscribed in their relationship forever. For some, that may not be a point to worry about. Others might feel a sense of discomfort celebrating their happy occasion on a day when many in the nation are mourning.
So when you and your honey sit down to talk dates, it's almost as important to consider dates that you don't want as it is to consider the ones that you do want!
From a little research, I learned that each religion has dates and periods during the year that are considered fortuitous to a marriage and dates that are either considered back luck or bad form.
While you and your fiance may not be the most religious people, if a majority of your family or guests tend towards the traditional or religious then it might behoove you to take some of the following into consideration:
Jewish
In Judaism you may wish to avoid Friday evening weddings, and Saturday weddings before sundown. Don't marry on Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippur (10 days after Rosh Hashanah). Most synagogues frown on marriages during the Days of Awe (the 10 days between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur), as that is a very busy time.
Depending on your community or denomination, you may be able to get married immediately after Passover; other denominations may have you wait until after either Yom HaShoah or Shavout.
Christian
If you or many of your guests are Christian, you'll want to avoid Holy Week which spans from Palm Sunday weekend through Easter Sunday. That generally means that late March to early April are days to nix; in fact in 2011 Holy Week will be April 17-24.
Christmas weddings that take place on the weekends around December 25 will likely be difficult for many to attend. Some churches find Sunday weddings after the service a joyful celebration of the Sabbath, others frown on a wedding during the day of rest. Check with your congregation to be sure.
Muslim
If you are Muslim, or many of your guests are Muslim, then Shawwal is considered a favorable time for a wedding. However the sacred months of Muharram and Ramadan are very bad times for a wedding. Many Muslim weddings occur on Sunday. Consult your mosque before selecting a date.
Secular
What if you and most of your guests do not observe any major religion? Keep in mind that in America, there are certain secular days where it will be difficult for guests to attend (think: Super Bowl Sunday).
Here's a list of dates that might make your wedding more difficult to attend (or more expensive to book):
- New Year's and Christmas (anywhere between the 23th of December and the 5th of January)
- Thanksgiving
- Superbowl weekend
- The World Series
- April 15- Tax Day!!!
- Memorial Day weekend
- Labor Day weekend
While some wedding experts say both Labor Day and Memorial Day are good days to get married (as you'll likely find cheaper rates on venues and vendors, and your guests will have three days to travel), many of your wedding guests may already have other plans for these weekends. It's also more expensive to travel on those weekends-- plus everyone else will be on the road those days as well!
That still leaves plenty of days left in the year to celebrate your love and commitment.
Jen Kiaba is a portrait photographer who lives in Rhinebeck, NY with her superhero boyfriend, two crazy cats and an adorable (albeit very lazy) basset hound! She can also frequently be found on Facebook and Twitter!