Fantastic Formals?? An oxymoron, you say? Not so!
It’s true, people tend to dread the family picture time during a wedding. It’s one of the things I hear most often. People say they don’t like to pose. People live in fear of having to keep their large families in line. But the formals don’t have to be the part of the day you get through. And they don’t have to be stiff! Let’s not even call it “formals”! Because there are certain things you and your photographer can do to make the family pictures stress-free… and even fun!
Timing is Everything
When organizing the timing for family pictures, tell the family members who will be needed that you’re starting half an hour before you really plan to be. (This is actually a great rule of thumb for every aspect when timing the wedding ceremony – the hair and makeup, the guests, even the officiant! Half an hour isn’t too long to ask people to wait, especially when they have drinks and people to talk with.) It’ll help your loved ones automatically factor in for traffic and other unforeseen delays or mishaps without compromising your wedding day schedule.
When scheduling your family pictures, find out when sunset will be at that time of year. You’ll lose your workable ambient light about half an hour before sunset, so either schedule it earlier in the day or just know that your family photos, bridal party and solo pictures will need to rely on flash for lighting.
Remember that receiving lines add time. If you have 150 guests, it may take half an hour or more to greet them all as they exit the ceremony site. Build that time into your schedule. If you’re doing a cocktail hour and pictures immediately after the ceremony, you might want to skip the receiving line (in favor of getting to your cocktail hour instead). In that case, you can visit the tables during the reception.
Make time for solo portraits with your new spouse after the ceremony. Beforehand, you may be nervous and have a lot on your mind. But afterwards, you can relax together, which will make better photos. The more time you leave, the more fun you can have with it. You neverk now, it might be the only 15 minutes “alone” together that you get all day!
Keep it Simple
The more people you have to coordinate during family pictures, the more time-consuming it can be. Save extended family photos for the party. Assign one person in each group to be the photographer’s go-to person. Given them a list of people needed for the shot, and ask them to gather everyone up during the party. Then they can grab the photographer, the photographer can grab you, and you’re in the shot and back to your party in no time!
If you don’t want to be posing in photos all night, keep your picture list to the bare necessities. Just list groupings and combinations of people that are absolutely key. Remember, it takes 2-3 minutes per photo set-up, so 15 combinations is about 30-45 minutes.
You want to leave your photographer a little wiggle room to improvise, so s/he can jump in and capture those wonderful emotional moments between you and your family that are bound to happen. That’s the stuff you really want!
Be Inspired
One thing I love to include in my wedding photography packages is a site viewing. Just like it sounds, the couple and photographer meet at the wedding venue for a tour prior to the big day. If the photographer hasn’t been there before, s/he can get to know the grounds and scout out good picture spots. And even if s/he has been there a hundred times, the site viewing allows the photographer and couple to chat about the logistics of location and timing away from the pressure of the wedding day, so everyone knows the game plan ahead of time. (Of course, the plan can sometimes go out the window on the actual day, depending on what’s going on.)
A site viewing allows the photographer and couple to learn more about each other’s aesthetic and vision, so the photographer is in a better position to make those shots that you will always cherish.
If you’re the kind of person who is haunting wedding planning sites and blogs (like this one!), then you might want a photographer who will consider you a collaborator. Share your ideas, send him/her pictures you’re drawn to and let him/her in on the personal details about your love story and family that can add to your pictures of the day. A collaborator-photographer will consider your ideas and aesthetic, allowing it to inspire him/her to make truly personal photos for you. But remember that your photographer is a professional and knows what will work or won’t, given the lighting, backdrop and timing of the day. It’s not always possible to recreate a photo, and sometimes the best pictures are the ones that weren’t planned or expected. As with everything having to do with your wedding day, make your preparations, and then let whatever happens happen. If you can let go of needing to be in control once the day has started and can trust your vendors to do their thing – the thing you hired them to do for you - everyone will be able to get into a good groove, and you’ll have a lot more fun!
When you’re well-prepared, organized and inspired, your family photos can be a fun part of your party – a moment to celebrate the emotions of the day with your very close family and friends. And in 20 years, when your family make-up is bound to have changed, you’ll be so glad you took the time to make those pictures!
Hillary Harvey is a freelance photographer specializing in wedding photojournalism. Though born in Brooklyn to a long line of Brooklynites, she is a tried-and-true valley girl, having lived most of her life in the Hudson Valley. She also lives online, so catch up with her there!
In addition to being a Maid of Honor veteran, Jill Tooley is Head of Content and Social Media at Quality Logo Products, where you can 
